In informal settings with family or friends, disagreements about political issues can  emerge. The temptation can be to defend our own position. Tempers  can ignite. As a consequence, we sometimes tend to avoid potential areas of conflict for the sake of keeping the peace. But avoiding genuine dialogue cuts off opportunities for learning and growth.

The following guidelines can be used when engaged in a conversation around a difficult political issue.

  1. If you anticipate a gathering where political controversies are likely to arise, take some quiet time to prepare yourself.
  • Try to recall instances when you found yourself getting defensive. Hold those issues and events and people in prayer.
  • Try to think of Scripture passages, quotable quotes, or associations with nature, art, music, or sports that shed light on the issue that may arise.
  • Take a moment to feel grateful for the personal growth that comes through thoughtful conversation.
  1. As soon as you sense that tensions are emerging, take a moment to breathe deeply and center yourself.
  2. Listen not only with your ears but also with your eyes, to be tuned into both the thoughts and feelings of everyone there. Listen with an open heart.
  3. In the course of the conversation, if there are people who are not getting an opportunity to speak, suggest that “we slow down so that everyone has a chance to speak.”
  4. If people are making broad general statements, say, “Let’s try to speak for ourselves, based on our own experience.”
  5. If the discussion is becoming heated, try to calm passions by saying something such as “Let’s try to listen with respect — avoid challenging each other or interrupting.”
  6. As the discussion unfolds, ask yourself if you see any signs of common ground. If you do sense some common ground, bring it to the attention of the group and try to build on it.
  7. In the course of the discussion, try to understand the perspective of others. Ask them to describe any life experience that may have led them to their position. Pose non-judgmental questions that are open-ended. Try to create an atmosphere that allows people time to articulate what is beneath the surface.
  8. Once the basic information and points of view have been articulated, it can be helpful to shift the focus from the issue being discussed and instead focus on the people, feelings, and dynamics in the group. Controversial issues often go much deeper than can be understood in one conversation. Understanding may emerge over time if you and others can be encouraged to listen to each other with respect and compassion.

Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky. 

– Rainer Maria Rilke

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